AtTituDe!

Have been watching Goong the pass few days. Very very romantic but boring at times.

I cried myself to sleep last night and to wake up to find myself hoarse and with stiff neck (????). Soemthing which i have always been avoiding, now i have to face it. I was so convinced that no matter how he have changed, at least, he still cares for the family, but i was proven wrong. I couldnt cry infront of my sisters because i have to be strong infront of them. I talked to Darling but he doesnt undstd how i feel. Its a cold hard fact that i have to admit that his heart is not with us anymore. I looked up to him. Respect him. But he loses it all last night.

Some of you will just tell me to be positive, cheer up yada yada. you know all that stuffs like there are some other kids that a whole lot worst of than you, orphans, children suffering in the 3rd world country blah blah blah But then, think again, its already like half orphan when u lose (not dead lah!) something close your heart and the whole family suffers emotionally, kids grow up to think that this is a 'normal' family and does not undstd why is it like that when they gradually grow older. Isnt this suffering too? Sufferings doesnt group into different classes.

I dont know what to say anymore. I will not cry over this anymore. It just sucks! Its not cool! Whatever! YOU SUCKS!